• The Counseling Initiative

Why It's Ok To Hate Your Therapist At Times

Person 1: "Ugh. I think i need to talk to someone"

Person 2: "I have a great therapist if you want their number"

Person 1: "Do you like them?"

Person 2: "Its a love / hate relationship"

We hear this all the time. So, what exactly is a love / hate relationship, and why would you want one with your therapist?

Be mindful that in order to grow and change as an individual - oftentimes, we have to become uncomfortable first. And uncomfortability tends to come with negative feelings. Anger, frustration, depression can all be side effects of your counseling process, but just because it doesn't feel good, doesn't mean it isn't helping you get to where you want to be. Counseling is a process. A process that includes ups and downs, but ultimately, leads you to a more comfortable and balanced life. Rather than fight the process, allow yourself to feel those negative emotions and explore them.

Why am i angry that they are making me talk about this? What is the purpose of this? If you have a good counselor, we can assure you that they don't enjoy making you uncomfortable. In fact, I actually apologize to most of my clients when I know I'm triggering negative emotions. Not because i am wrong, but because while i understand the pain, I also know that we must work through that in order to find peace.

The process can be very emotional and yes, its not always going to be pleasant. Therapists are trained to dig up the darkest corners of people's souls. We are trained to analyze it, re-work it, and change its purpose. Unfortunately - that can often come with some "icky" feelings in middle that will probably make u want to run for the hills. But remember: short term sacrifice - long term goal.

Every human shares a common goal of wanting to lead a balanced and happy life. Be mindful to process why you may be having negative emotions, or better yet, bring it up in session. Tell us you're angry. Tell us you're hurt. You are coming to us for help - so let us help you.